Saturday, October 29, 2005
God. I know the previous entry was shallow beyond belif. But who cares???? But anyway, I was looking at some pictures and I though of something I was told about 3 years ago. It was my ninth b-day. And my friend, Daniel, was saying : Do you know that ya are bigger than me?
Okay... I meant to write something meaningful but the above paragraph was just crappe. Not thing. Blah. But I was reading The godfather and it is actually quite interesting..... only problem is, I have to understand it first.
Anywat, today I was selling popcorn in school and YURI accidently let it slipp about my crush on hernando! I am so fucking humiliated... Really, i am. I am seriously. She was justlike : oh Bronte likes this guy doesn't she? I mean AARRGHHHHHHHHHHH
4:05 AM
Friday, October 28, 2005
Mixed Signals
Arrgh. very infruiating. i need advise. Bad. Okay. Hernando has a girlfriend (not me sadly) and he keeps telling me about her and the other day he asked if i like anyone. And then he asked if i had a boyfriend. and he asked if i have ever kissed anyone. and then he showed me tons of text messages from his girlfriend. And he keeps bringing her up.I mean, we are not even that close.... Wtf? do you know what Imean????/ I need help. bad
8:24 AM
Saturday, October 15, 2005
arrgh. this stupid music codes thing doesn't works. i feel like ripping this computer apart with my bare hands. *crash, glass shattering* guess I could contain myself. I threw the mouse instead
11:51 PM
I was watching video on tara's blog and I was thinking, Joel madden is cute. but i am not overly obessed with GC like tara, tho i like the music. Anway, today I went to West Coast Park.But it is so crowded so not fun @ all. *sighs* I am listening to festival song from tara's blog.
So borrreeeddd. Nothing to do at all.... *groans* I feel like sleeping, but being incredidbly stupid i drank a cup of iced expresso 2day. I can't sleep! usually caffiene doesn't affect me... But now i feel like a zombie.ARRRRGGGHHHH. Anyway, I feel so left out. Kinda. every one I know has a boyfriend. Zarra and Darwin. Joycie and Zhong. ARRGH. Anyway, i had a pretty nice dream last night. too bad it was just a dream. Anyway, i dreamt that my crush, asked me out. *sighs* anyway, I think David( my best friend) is trying to make me madd. He broke up with Fiona. maybe I'm not the only one with a shit life. Gawd. I hate this shit. This post was a waste of time. Because No one will take any friggin intrest in this anyway. ARRRRGGGGHHHH
11:21 PM
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
I was watching GC's HOLD ON video. i was thinking of suicide. I want to shout out to all the people in thE world who are thinking of suicide of killing themselves right now. I want to say :
DON'T BE SO SELFISH. THINK OF ALL YOUR FRIENDS YOUR FAMILY. THE HURT. ARE YOU THE SOLE BREAD WINNER? WHAT IS YOUR FAMILY GONNA GO WITHOUT YOU? YOUR PARENTS. HOW WILL THEY FEEL. YOU CAN WORK IT OUT. I HAVE NO FAMILY YOU ARGUE, BUT THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO CAN HELP. SOME ONE WILL MISS YOU. IF YOU KILL YOUR SLEF, YOU ARE JUST SELFISH. YOU THINK THAT THIS IS THE WAY OUT OF YOUR PROBLEMS. BUT YOU AREN'T THINKING OF YOUR FAMILY.
9:52 PM
Is that what you think of me?
Okay, i know that from my previous entries I seem a bit urm, No word for it. but I was reading the comments that Pei Ting put on the tag and i just got pissed. Really. Just because I wanna end up in a hole? Jeez... Thanks a lot, I really like being insulted like that. And then pei ting said that what... yeah. she said that my parents arn't always gonna be behind me. I know. I am guessing that she means that I have to learn to survive on my own. And that I can't live off my dad forever. And I can't use his money when ever I want to and that you think that I am just a spoilt lil brat and that I don't know how to do basic chores or how to take care of myself....
You know, just because I live on private property and my father makes enough money for us to live slightly more confortably than other people or that I have a bit more money than other people or that I go to a school which has tuition fees that are more expensiveor that my mother employes domestic helpers, doesn't mean ANYTHING. I bet you all think that I am a bratty lil girl who has everything done for her and that I can't do anything. And i can't cook or clean or do anything for herslef.Honestly, if you really think that, you really don't know me at all.
You know how much I hate people saying that? I could say "Oh Pei Ting, you live in a condo. You are rich, therefore you don't know how to do anything." or I could say "Joyce. Your dad works in korea. He goes back and forth and you get to sit in business class all the time. Therefore you are rich and you don't know how to take care of yourself." Or I could say "Tara, you have 3 iPods. Therefore you are rich and you don't know how to take care of yourself."
That is what you people have been saying to me. Or at least thinking about me. Now you know why I detest you people coming to my house? BECAUSE YOU KEEP SAYING THAT I AM RICH I AM A SNOB I AM A BRAT I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!
That bites, you know. actually, that stings. I hate it when people say I am rich.
Oh and then Pei Ting said that some people don't want or cannot to fall back on their parents money or business. And now I ask you. What makes you think that I don't want to go to a good school and do well. What makes you think that all I want to do is be happy, become Paris Hilton the 2nd or just be happy and live off my da forever, never bothering to study or doing anything for yourself. What makes you think that.
Did you know that when my parents came to singapore, they had no money. My dad worked in the day and my mom worked at night, teaching at a night school. That was16 years ago. Every cent that was built between them was because of hard work. Because of that, my parents can give my sisters and i comfortable lives. I can honestly say I have never gone hungry. I can honestly say that I have never had to clean a toilet. But I will never forget that my parents, my grand parents, my great grand parents worked hard.
Yes, my family was always well off. My ancestors on both sides were mercents and later business men and now doctors on my fathers side. But they all built up their own business. All of them were given the same treatment. After University, they were all left to fend for them selves. My great grand mother came all the way from Pourtagal , with barely a cent to her name. But, the Jongs and the Kwans have made it this far. I know that I will be given the same treatment after university. And I know that no matter what I do, I
WILL make my parents proud. I
WILL NOT let my ansestors down. I
WILL work hard at no matter what I do, even if it doesn't show. I was given the chance to come to UWC. I plan to make full use of it.
And if you honestly think that I am a snobby spoiled brat, what's the point of keeping in touch? You don't know me anyway. The day I left raffles I was thinking that you were the best friends I ever knew. And that I would never forget you guys. Now, I am not so sure.
And on my use of fuck. If you really don't like it, I can stop. but just deal with it and bugger off. And if you think I am lying in this post, I never want to hear from you again.
9:36 PM
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
HA
HAHAHAH! I got a new camcorder! NEw cannon Mv sonthing something something. It is so cool making your own movies. Only problem is,I walk round and not many people like being filmed. Oh well *shrugs* urm.... I am not going out with David for that lame ass picnic any more! My mom wants me to go down to Raffles to get my report book. YES! * pumps fist in the air* no offence but it really is lame. and, i fixed him up with Fiona. Hah! pei ting, i told you he didn't like me. anyway, Even if he LIKED me, I don't like him. No more than a friend likes another. And i am getting pretty sick of talking bout David .
I am REALLY pissed off at my sister. I keep trying to talk to her. OUr MSN conversation , actually ALL our conversations since she left goes something like this:
M: REINE!
r:---------
M:OI!
r:--------
M: reine reine ba boom seng *child hood nickname*
r:---------
M:REEEEIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEE
shut up has just sent a nudge* my screen name*
You cannot send a nudge that often
You cannot send a nudge that often
You cannot send a nudge that often
Raine* has signed off line
Yeah
that is our conversation. AND EVERY FUCKING TIME IT IS THE SAME THING.
ANNOYING* screams and throws hands into the air*
5:43 PM
ARRGH> I am kinda getting pissed off here. Zhong, joycie's boyfriend is getting on my nerves. He claims we like DISSING Joyce. what the fucking hell? Joyce is my friend. One of my better ones on fact.Seriously. I can not not be pissed
8:08 AM
god. david keeps asking me out. Not Out as in a date kinda out but you know, outtings between frens. Quite annoying actually.
D: are you free today, wanna go to ochard?
m: NAh. Meeting frens.
D: like?
M: even if I tell you you won't know them.
D: just tell me
M; my girlfriends
D: oh
M: told you.
D: fine. Free tomorrow
M: Depends
D: on what
M: time, Duh
D: afternoon, late morining
M: I guess
D: Wanna go for lunch?
M: where?
D: The Wangon wheel
M: NOOOOOO! after my run-in with the manager....
D: right. Bistro?
M: No moolah(money)
d: gelato place?
M: nah. How about....
D: heyy! Lets go for a picnic!
M: urm, have you gone backk to riverdale?
d: No really. we can like have it at the park.
m: yeah.... gd idea. we can invite, like Claudia and Daniel and all
d: urm, okayyyyyy
M: huh?
D:nothing
M: see you tomorrow.....
Odd conversation eh?
12:12 AM
Monday, October 10, 2005
God. Pei Ting actually thinks that DAVID likes ME! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA*throws her head back, laughing*. he actually likes me? hah you gotta be joking. But he has been acting weird. I was talking to him on my cell just now and ....
Me: Why arae you calling me NOW? like, I just talked to you 20 minutes ago, in person. remember?
David: geez. Chill. ANd hi.
Me: whatever. But seriously, why are you calling me? I just saw you 20 minutes ago. when you gave me yr cab. Why? are you stuck at the club now? next time, you don't have to be so much of a gentlemen
David: i am at home. But I was wondering if you'ld like to come with me to go to ESCAPE?
M: Nah. I'll pass
D: why? i thought you lliked theame parks
M: i do. just that escape SUCKS
d: OH.
M: anyway, did hernando call you?
d: No, why?
M; No. just that he was calling me just now but I missed them
D: Oh
M: did yr vocab just shrink
d: No.
M:nvm*silence*
M: you know, if you have nothing to say you should put down. coz this is creating a huge phone bill
d: uh ok. BUt just 1 thing, do you like hernando?
M: wtf is wrong with you today? HE IS MY FRIEND> JUST LIKE RICHARD AND EDDIE!!!!
D: sorry.nvm i g2g.
M:huh?
*
beep beep beep beep* He is begining to get on my nerves. I mean it. What is up with him today?
I just don't get it. And when he told florence that he liked someone else when he broke up with her. I wonder who that poor gal is?
5:32 PM
Sunday, October 09, 2005
oH GOD. geez. i mean, wtf is wrong with David? *btw, David is my best/good friend* I mmean really. Everytime i talk to him he suddenly becomes so odd. And he keeps asking me if I am going out woth ppl. Like just now... Msn Conversation went like this
Me: Heyys. How are you enjoying this holiday???
David: I dunnoe? Are you going out with Richard?
Me: WTFing hell! DuDE! Richard is shorter than me!
David: Oh. Ok. phew.
Me: WTF?
David: Nothing. Did you hear, I got the OSFTY award.
Me: Yes. I heard. Only bout 1000 times. How many times do you neede to tell me anyway?I got it too.
David: right. Did you know that i am a black belt in karate?
Me: Really? I thought you were brown?
david: NO!
m: Ok chill
d: sori.
d: Do u wanna hang out later?
m: can't tennis.
d: OH. with who?
m: Edward and Liz and her boyfriend
d: you're going out with Ed?!
m: what's with you? HULLO? HE IS MY NEIGHBOUR!
m: god
d: oh sorry.
D: i gtg buh bye.
Weird eh?
I mean what is with him?He is suddenly so odd
10:44 PM
Haha> PSLE ends today. Honestly, I dunnoe why I am so happy. But anyway, today I went to the gym. Sweatted it out. But then I spoilt it all by eating a huge batch of soft shelled crab!!!! Oh I hate my self so much!!! All the oil! But anyway, yesterday I got a camcorder. It SO rocks. Really. It is soooo cool. But too bad all the videos I can take are all crappe. Oh well. That's life. Live it.
1:24 PM
Friday, October 07, 2005
YEA! school is out! whoo* chears, waving arms in air* Haha. No school 4 2 weeks!But you know, I can't help feeling a bit sad that sch is out. Crazy I know. But really. think about it.
1)No one is in Singapore
2)I can't talk to my frens
3) My bf is outta town
4)I had a bf with meika
5) I hate my life
btw, bf means bestfren and bitch fight
But Zarra's boyfriend is so an Annying and arggh he keeps friggin calling me Brontie. As in bron-tie. Annoying Darwin.
Hernando is pranking ramdom ppl. Like today he is pranking Jazzy. But jazzy isn't in town. Stupid. And i can't believe Jazzy is going to England. She is relly nice. Really nice to talk to and all. Arrgh. My life sux so much.
I overheard Darwin telling Takuya that Hernando likes 5 gals. Hah! I bet he is giving them all mixed signals. poor gals. Ijus hope Maymay isn't one of them.
We are doing Gymnastics in PE when sch reopens.
Fiona is joing my language class ! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
I hate her. I don't hare her as in " DIE NOW!" kinda hate. She and i just don't on. But I guess she is nice....
I think.
I hope.
11:00 PM
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Hahaha! School lets out for half term break in 29 hours! hahaha! And most of me teachers are not giving us holiday homework! Even better! swiming training is cancelled! haha! my life is perfect. Almost. If only. Arrgh. NVM.
I already know what I am gonna do during the hols. Tennis. 3 times a week. in the mornings. 2 hours. Afternoon, play around. MAybe go see me friends in school. But if I go to Raffles, I would most likly go on the 13th. I guess.
I have put on SO much weight since going to UWC. I swear that in the hols, i WILL LOSE WEIGHT!I think. I dunoe how true that is gonna be. But I WILL LOSE WEIGHT!
I just hope that I actually do it.
8:27 PM
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
I hate to admit it, but I miss 3 things baout my life.
a) My friends from Raffles *awwwwing and sighing can be heard*- like Pei Ting, Joyce, Tara etc
b) My sister*sniffing can be heard. Softies, that's your cue to start crying*
c) The social life life I once had - or thought I had * I can hear ppl saying, what the hell? and WTFing shit?*
ok. The missing friends thing is kinda expeected. I mean, I spent at least 2 years with you ppl. I hate to admit it, but i DO mis you guys.
Missing my sister is one of the least possible things that would've happened maybe, 1 month ago, but now, i can't wait for her to come back. I hate to admit it, but she has always been helping me with wahtever problems I had with my social life.
My very unactive social life? Nothing to say there. With all my friends in UWC attached, I am pretty much the odd one out
10:27 PM
I know I sound amazingly pathetic and sad but just becaause someone doesn't like you, it doesn't mean you can't like them right? Maybe I should explain, I like a guy- lets call him H. But he doesn't like me. I dunnoe, but you ppl know that I have liked tons of guys, mostly getting over them in about, 2 days. But somehow, I have never liked a guy so much in.... Well, I have never liked a guy so much ever. Arrgh. Do we all agree my life is the pits?
I heard this REALLY nice song on the radio. Guess whhich station. don't laugh- Gold 90 FM. I said DON"T LAUGH. or as the singaporeans say, OI! donch laugh ok! otherwise I get my bradeh come and beat you up ah!
anway it is called Retribution. The lyrics are:
I just feel so alone
my heart has been torn
into a thousand pieces
and then thrown out
with the trash
I wanna know what I did
that made me deserve such treatment
I just want to run away
and hide behind my door
Is this what they call
Retribution?
because if that is so
I wanna know
just what I did
(chrous)
You ripped my soul
into a thousand peices
You stomped all over it
and left it lying there
You threw me out
when I was never in at all
Is this what they call
retribution?
coz I wanna know what I did
I wanna hide
I wanna cry
I wanna scream and yell at the world
I wanna swear
at the gods
Are you really there
Or are you playing with my heart?
I wanna hide under my bed
like I did when I was a 5
And hide from my problems
then it was thunderstorm
but now, how did it become my life?
What did I do to deserve this?
Is this what they call
retribution?
coz if that's so
I wanna know
just what I did
(chrous)x2
I had to type this out coz of the copy right on the site i gotit from. So if there are spelling errors, i am not held responsible. I think. You know what i do now when ppl speak of my spelling? My evil, dumb twin did my homework for me. Smart arn't I? I can see Pei Ting rolling her eyes.
10:21 PM
Sunday, October 02, 2005
I just remembered.
I can't go back to sleep. My sister is sleeping on my bed.
ARRRRGGGGGHHHHH
*starts screaming in a maniac way, throwimg arms into air, waving them about, with hair in a mess*
Guess what I dreamt of last night?
Tusnami. I hate the water
4:22 PM
We al know that I have no social life and my social planner is absolutly blank.. So bear with me while I ramble and complain about my amazingly pathetic life.
Reasons why My LIfe SUCks
1) eveyone I can talk to is never on-line. UWC or not.
Ppl from Raffles are studying and no one frm UWC is alone at home during the weekend
2)everyone I know has a boyfriend. Me? I am a sad sad person. AlONE. SINGLE. UNWANTED
Okay. I know what you are thinking: god, she is so dramatic
3) My stupid sister never replies to my emails!
4)the same stupid sister is having dinner with the mayer of Duhrem
5)My other lame sister is sleeping on my bed.
6) the lame sister metioned in complain 5 sucessfully pushed me off my own bed last night
7)I can't play the piano
8)I think my Chinese teacher hates me
9)I think my math teacher hates me
10) I hate my math teacher
11)My math teacher makes us lugg around 2 heavy math books that each weigh 2 kilos
12) My math teacher is marrid to my tutor
13) I am still reading childish books
14) I fell off the same chair on the same day within a spam of 2 minutes
*that means I fell of my chair twice in 2 minutes*
15)The one guy i REALLY REALLY like may/may not like me at all
16) I am tired
You can all see how much my life sucks. ARRGH. I think I am going back to sleep. So I can wallow in self-pity
4:17 PM